Sugar, Spice and everything mildly disturbing

Today has been one of those days.
One of those days when you question everything in life.
For instance; gravity, relationships & canned tuna.
As far as gravity goes, I’m okay with never fully understanding  it.
In regards to canned tuna… just, no. Don’t eat that shit. Seriously, it’s so nasty. Both the canned albacore tuna and wild king salmon have shelf lives of approximately 8-10 years. And then, after years of sitting in a warehouse, you just think “hmm, I really want my kitchen to smell like a homeless orgy”, whip out a can opener, add mayonnaise, and then smear it on your bread.
And that’s when I start to judge you; so hard.

I’m getting off track.
Let’s talk about relationships.
My dreadful past relationships to be precise.
In the past I’ve been a bit of a serial monogamist.
A real “he has a criminal record? So what? I can fix him with my love” girl. Yes, I was that girl.
And I’m exaggerating some, not all of my boyfriends have been awful.
For example, I’ve never dated a republican. Because lesbi honest, a girl has to have a line, right?

But I went through a season of playing “Who’s Molli”.
And man do I hate that game with every fiber of my being (a decent amount of fibers).
But it was really good for me.
It was like a detox, from men.
I know what you’re thinking, and yes, I did have withdrawals.
But not even from the physical closeness of a relationship, it was the validation and feeling of being someone’s world.
But why? Why was I not okay with just having me, in my world?
It troubled me that I was so dependent upon such a shaky and unstable source.
This isn’t a feminist post; i’m not implying it’s men that are unstable.
I’m saying this: relationships are terrifying.
I won’t even eat chicken if it’s room temperature, but I base my well being and happiness on such a terrifying and quite possibly temporary union? That’s crazy talk.
But we do it, constantly.

Anyways; i’m not even close to where I want to be in that regard.
But I do know who Molli is now.
I know what she likes and dislikes.
I know what she deserves.
And right now, that’s enough.
Right now, I’m enough.

The Cake is a Lie

I’m Molli, a twenty-two year old who instead of out with friends on Friday night and doing the whole “alcoholic beveraging” thing is home, sitting in the dark, geeking out about a new Blog. And why?
Well, let me start from the beginning(ish).
I grew up the second oldest in a large, middle-class family.
My school lunches were full of name brand snacks and napkins that read “xoxo, mom”.  My life was simple and sweet.
Life was cake, and I could eat it and have it too.
Then when I was about fifteen, I started questioning my perfect little bubble, and that’s when all hell broke loose.
As if turns out — life isn’t cake.
And if it was; there’s a good chance you’d choke on it, or at least run out of milk before you’ve finished.
In the past 6 years I’ve been through losing my best friend to suicide, rape, a miscarriage, multiple brushes with death, and heartbreak after heartbreak after heartbreak.

But I remain hopeful.
Hopeful that there’s more, and hopeful that others out there also believe there’s more.

This Blog is going to serve as my recipe book of sorts.
I’m going to write about my ups and downs and hopefully learn how to create something new and beautiful.
 Just because the life you’re handed isn’t cake, doesn’t mean you can’t make your own damn cake.

So; let’s get baking, shall we?