Today has been one of those days.
One of those days when you question everything in life.
For instance; gravity, relationships & canned tuna.
As far as gravity goes, I’m okay with never fully understanding it.
In regards to canned tuna… just, no. Don’t eat that shit. Seriously, it’s so nasty. Both the canned albacore tuna and wild king salmon have shelf lives of approximately 8-10 years. And then, after years of sitting in a warehouse, you just think “hmm, I really want my kitchen to smell like a homeless orgy”, whip out a can opener, add mayonnaise, and then smear it on your bread.
And that’s when I start to judge you; so hard.
I’m getting off track.
Let’s talk about relationships.
My dreadful past relationships to be precise.
In the past I’ve been a bit of a serial monogamist.
A real “he has a criminal record? So what? I can fix him with my love” girl. Yes, I was that girl.
And I’m exaggerating some, not all of my boyfriends have been awful.
For example, I’ve never dated a republican. Because lesbi honest, a girl has to have a line, right?
But I went through a season of playing “Who’s Molli”.
And man do I hate that game with every fiber of my being (a decent amount of fibers).
But it was really good for me.
It was like a detox, from men.
I know what you’re thinking, and yes, I did have withdrawals.
But not even from the physical closeness of a relationship, it was the validation and feeling of being someone’s world.
But why? Why was I not okay with just having me, in my world?
It troubled me that I was so dependent upon such a shaky and unstable source.
This isn’t a feminist post; i’m not implying it’s men that are unstable.
I’m saying this: relationships are terrifying.
I won’t even eat chicken if it’s room temperature, but I base my well being and happiness on such a terrifying and quite possibly temporary union? That’s crazy talk.
But we do it, constantly.
Anyways; i’m not even close to where I want to be in that regard.
But I do know who Molli is now.
I know what she likes and dislikes.
I know what she deserves.
And right now, that’s enough.
Right now, I’m enough.